THE MATRIX REVOLUTIONS SPOOF
by UpcomingScreenPlayWriter
Summary: Basically, in celebration of the movie's release on DVD tomorrow I decided to do a spoof.


THE MATRIX REVOLUTIONS SPOOF.  
  
SCENE 1: NEO VISITS THE ORACLE...AGAIN!  
  
Oracle: Sit down Neo, have some of my liquorish sticks I so fondly care about so much, or how about wait there and I'll go get my banjo.  
  
Neo: Banjo? Whoa...you're a country singer?  
  
Oracle: Well, who do you think taught Lean Rimes to sing, or sue her parents?  
  
Neo: I just thought it was the synthesizers that spruced up her voice. Not you. I mean let's fact it, you are actually the youngest wolf in the pack.  
  
Oracle: Well, maybe I'm not, but I'm still like Morpheus your Yoda. I may not have lime green floppy ears, or sound like Fozzie Bear or Miss Piggy, but hey I can sure do a great impression of several other Muppets. Like here...  
  
(Goes and does impressions of Cookie Monster, Bert and Ernie, and Oscar the Grouch.)  
  
Oracle: How was that?  
  
Neo: Well, judging from you smoking all the time and have of that was you wheezing and coughing I would say you made Sesame Street sound like they were on crack.  
  
Oracle: Well, nobody is perfect and neither are you. By the end of this day Zion will fall.  
  
Neo: Not if I can stop Smith!  
  
Oracle: Oh, come on Neo! Smith doesn't need to be stopped I mean everybody loves Smith. I mean once you get to know him, have a couple of drinks, and slap bodies for a couple of hours he really isn't all that bad.  
  
Neo: Wait! Isn't he your son? Aren't you his mother?  
  
Oracle: Uh...yeah...about that?  
  
Neo: I'm out of here!  
  
Oracle: Wait, we need to go back and do our "questionnaire bit that never goes anywhere and doesn't make sense and you just figure things out for yourself."  
  
SCENE 2: ZION HAS BEEN BREACHED.  
  
(Out of the crack in the ceiling Sentinels begin piling in, squirming and worming their way through, and coming out tentacles and all, but all a few other things come out. The worm from "TREMORS", Ursula from "THE LITTLE MERMAID", the Genoisians from "ATTACK OF THE CLONES", and the bugs from "STARSHIP TROOPERS.")  
  
SCENE 3: THE FINAL FIGHT.  
  
(Neo walks into frame as the rain keeps pouring down. He sees rows upon rows of Smiths all staring at each other blankly and expressionless, but suddenly they turn their heads and see Neo and smile and grin evilly at his presence.)  
  
Mr. Smith:  
Mr. Anderson. Welcome back. Like what I've done with the place?  
  
(Neo looks around and sees that the setting is very gothic and dark and suddenly goes "gay-mode.")  
  
Neo: Actually, the dark and dreary look is soooooooo not your style! Why don't you try some purple drapes, or some throw pillows, and a little bit of sunshine to lighten this place up because honey this place is a wreck! I mean I know Tim Burton or Marilyn Manson would love to live here, but this is sooooo not you Mr. Hunnybuns!  
  
(Neo suddenly snaps out of it.)  
  
Neo:  
Whoa...what the hell did I just say?  
  
(Smith grins once again.)  
  
Mr. Smith: Actually, I wanted to go for a "Welcome to Your Doom"-type feel, or "It Was A Wonderful Life Now You Got To Die"-type moment.  
  
Neo:  
It ends tonight Smith...  
  
Mr. Smith: What ends? What is even an ending? How did an end even begin?  
  
(Neo smacks his head and shakes it.)  
  
Neo:  
Oh God! Not this questioning everything mumbo-jumbo crap!  
  
Mr. Smith: I see there's no pleasing you Mr. Anderson and I see that even though you are blind from our last attack you still think you can beat me. Well, I don't see other blind people wanting to fight me? I mean where's Daredevil, or Stevie Wonder, or Ray Charles, or that guy on "THE MAN SHOW" that sang incriminating and degrading songs about women and trying to get into their pants?  
  
Neo: This is between us! Not them! Now, are you going to talk, or are you going to fight?  
  
(Smith smiles again enjoying Neo's hatred and also his persistence.)  
  
Smith:  
Let's do it!  
  
(One of the Smith's puts on a Don King wig, while another transforms into Mike Tyson, while another becomes the "LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE" guy.)  
  
(A fight bell is heard and suddenly the two square off against each other.)  
  
(The one Smith dressed as Don King and the one in the body of Mike Tyson share their commentaries and announcements.)  
  
Don King: Only in America! Only in America could you find two competitors such as these! Thank God for America!  
  
Mike: Um...Mr. King after the fight's done can I have what's left of that Neo guy's ear?  
  
Don King: And only in America can this weirdo boxer have himself the scrumptious and delicious helpings of human ears! (Whispers in Mike Tyson) After the fight I'll let you go Hannibal on that ear.  
  
(As the fight continues on another Smith turns into Howard Cosell.)  
  
Howard: And look at this fight I don't think I've ever seen such brutality or a barbaric bloodbath like this since paying 2 bucks to go see "THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE" or watching Muhammad Ali knock the living shit out of George "Yes, I sell grills" Foreman. I mean this is simply amazing!  
  
(Up in the sky we see Neo and Smith punching and kicking. Sending lefts, rights, jabs, blocks, and hooks all at each other, but both men are unsuccessful trying to better the other. So, Neo suddenly goes into "DRAGON BALL Z" mode, while Smith tries to go the same way, but can't.)  
  
Smith: Come switch on damn you! Switch on! Oh, come on this worked at my friend's bar mitzvah!  
  
(Neo smiles and attacks blasting Smith into a building and coming at him at full speed punching him and kicking him like a blazing speed of light.)  
  
(Inside a building we see them duking it out, glass shattering at every impact of their fists, and computer monitors, keyboards, chairs, tables, everything you can think of in an office building going out the windows with the glass.)  
  
(Suddenly...the two come out of the building back into the sky and create an enormous raindrop bubble that explodes sending their bodies to fall back down onto the street creating an enormous crater.)  
  
(The aisles upon aisles of Smiths all walk over and check and see if Neo and Smith are alive, but they that nobody's moving, until a pair of shades and an evil smile begins coming out of the muddiness, muckiness, wetness, and dampness of the crater. He sees Neo bloodied, beaten, bruised, and broken and goes over to him and elbows him in the back than performs a Stone Cold Stunner and the People's Elbow on him. Neo falls back into the mud and feels like giving up, but suddenly Smith touches his chest and all of sudden he feels his body transforming and mutating into the thing he hates the most, the thing all good hates the most...to be pure evil.)  
  
(A new Smith arises and looks at the real Smith, but suddenly something bad starts to begin. Both Smiths begin to feel their bodies ache and feel their faces suddenly crack and split.)  
  
Smith: I don't get it! I killed you! Isn't that enough? You're supposed to be dying right now! Hello? Earth to "mush for brains Keanau Reeves!"  
  
(Suddenly...the two Smiths explode into nothing and the other Smiths begin doing so too.)  
  
Smith#1:  
Well, this looks like goodbye....  
  
Smith#2:  
Yeah, but we had a good run.  
  
Smith#1: Yeah, remember when we all fought Neo and he beat us, but we all went to coffee after. That was fun.  
  
Smith#2: Or the time when we had that Smith Family Barbeque and Will Smith and his wife Jada showed up unexpectedly because they thought the barbeque was for them. That was classic!  
  
Smith#1: Or like today when we thought all we were going to do was stand here and look retarded but now being deleted. It's really ironic I tell you...  
  
Smith#2:  
Yes, ironic...  
  
THE END. 


End file.
